Writing Fix

Dear Tall Person

How is the air up there? Thin? I think so because it has addled your brain.

There are some advantages to being short. For instance, the dust on top of the fridge does not exist if you can’t see it. (This is also a good place to hide lollies from me if the situation ever arises)

If you like going to see live music, there is a distinct disadvantage in being short .

To see a band requires the forethought and planning of arriving early to get a ‘good spot’. Sometimes it is impossible to convince tall friends of this imperative.

So you, the short person, arrive (not as early as you would like) and shuffle into a spot where you can kind of see the centre of the stage. It looks like you are doing a weird dance from foot to foot but what you are really doing is rocking from side to side to get a glimpse of stage between the shoulders of the crowd. It is working alright. Then, without hesitation a man built like brick shit house will come and stand in front of you. View of stage, gone!

Seriously, there needs to be an etiquette. I am starting a revolution. Tall people, be considerate of short people at live music events. Event organisers, make it part of your terms and conditions that tall people stand at the middle to the back of the stage. Short people, start kicking those tall people in the shins. You are small, they will not notice you.

This is Michael Franti. He is 6 foot 6 but a friend of short people. Look at him coming out into the crowd to meet the short people!

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2 thoughts on “Dear Tall Person”

  1. Heh, I will join your short person revolution! All my family are tall and my entire life has been subject to humiliation from them and from tall friends. I used to be terrified I would marry a tall person and even had a tall boyfriend I was dancing with once got down on his knees to dance so he wouldn’t be so tall. Ugh. Thankfully my dearly beloved turned out to be only an inch taller than me.

    Like

  2. Ha ha, my whole family is short but I still got teased. My nickname in high school was smurf. I ended up with a tall man (who helps me at concerts) and was really hoping for tall children but then ended up average children which is better than not even 5 foot.

    Liked by 1 person

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