Smile and/or Panic

It is almost launch time for Cassandra. On the outside I am smiling. On the inside I am panicking. People say to me that I am such a calm person. The truth is I have a calm exterior. Inside this head of mine is a hurricane of worries and anxieties.

People like me, weird old grumpy introverts, prefer building a trusting relationship (that takes about a century) before we share our innermost thoughts and fears. The contradiction, of course, is that writing a book is to expose yourself to the world – not just to strangers but to everyone who knows you. Oh dear!

Never mind, I am sure it will all come out in the wash.  I am an introvert and a closet optimist as you can see.

So lately I have been panicking, writing acknowledgements, panicking, still proofreading, waking up at 3 in the morning, encouraging people I know to come to my launch, thinking no one will come. (That is the pessimist in me. I am complicated)

Publishing a book is scary. As a writer, it is the point where you let the baby out into the wild of the world of criticism. The thing you poured your heart into becomes a commodity. I am not sure what it will be like. Meanwhile, I just hope I have a book in my hand on the night and someone nice comes along to share a glass of wine with me.

It’s official. 24 February at Avid Reader in West End. Register online.

2 thoughts on “Smile and/or Panic

  1. good luck for the launch Kathryn. yes, it’s all very scary and very much out of our comfort zones, us introverts who like nothing better than to be shut away in a dark room – well, not so dark, but you know what i mean.

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