It is almost launch time for Cassandra. On the outside I am smiling. On the inside I am panicking. People say to me that I am such a calm person. The truth is I have a calm exterior. Inside this head of mine is a hurricane of worries and anxieties.
People like me, weird old grumpy introverts, prefer building a trusting relationship (that takes about a century) before we share our innermost thoughts and fears. The contradiction, of course, is that writing a book is to expose yourself to the world – not just to strangers but to everyone who knows you. Oh dear!
Never mind, I am sure it will all come out in the wash. I am an introvert and a closet optimist as you can see.
So lately I have been panicking, writing acknowledgements, panicking, still proofreading, waking up at 3 in the morning, encouraging people I know to come to my launch, thinking no one will come. (That is the pessimist in me. I am complicated)
Publishing a book is scary. As a writer, it is the point where you let the baby out into the wild of the world of criticism. The thing you poured your heart into becomes a commodity. I am not sure what it will be like. Meanwhile, I just hope I have a book in my hand on the night and someone nice comes along to share a glass of wine with me.
It’s official. 24 February at Avid Reader in West End. Register online.