Another Introverted Writer

I know, I have changed the name of my blog. It’s Random, Fickle and Annoying. I’m sorry.

I’ve written before about how I struggle with the idea of ‘branding’ because I am not a cow.

I had a blog in the blogspot days, “Katwrites” I didn’t think too hard about it. I just ranted about whatever took my fancy. It was fun. Then the concept of having a ‘platform’ got all (apparently) necessary, so I started over here on WordPress. This blog was originally called Short Fiction Fix. I had this bright idea that I would stand out from the crowd by blogging about Short Fiction and showcasing online short fiction sites. It was such a chore. I tried but could not get inspired. Then I accidentally started a blog about my garden. I started having fun again.

When my book was published, it was clear that a blog about short fiction did not make sense. I felt uncomfortable about changing the name too much, so I just took away the Short and it became Fiction Fix. Cassandra is a retelling of a Greek Myth, so I thought I would have a blog about storytelling and retelling and myths and fairy tales. Then I kept writing about my garden. And Books. And Random Things.  Posts about my garden are insidious. So I tagged my blog Story Telling and Garden Growing.

The problem is I have many passions and eclectic thoughts. Narrowing my blog down to a few topics was stifling, and I resisted it by ignoring the things I intended to write about.

On the weekend, I was a panellist at Oz Comic Con in Brisbane. Our panel was Mental Health for Artists. It forced me to stop and think about the things I believed about mental health and the things I did to stay mentally well. It was nerve-wracking. On Sunday morning, I could not eat. My hands were clammy. But, part of my message about mental health was that we all struggle and acknowledging we are struggling is a healthy thing. I embraced my nerves. I talked openly about how difficult it was for me to speak in front of a crowd of people.

This weekend I will be on four more panels at Conflux in Canberra. I am nervous. I got mad at myself and thought – why can’t I just get up there and talk! I thought I am just not a talker. But that is NOT true. Get me in a room with people I trust and a topic I am passionate about (maybe a glass of wine), and you will not shut me up. You will want to put a gag on me.

I realised the challenge is to be my authentic self, which is uncomfortable in the spotlight, but willing to step into the spotlight. That is when I had a new name for my blog.

The thing is, I love blogging. Facebook is an interesting curator of content. Twitter feels like it is a big advertisement. (I struggle to ‘get’ Twitter). Blogging is a way of expressing myself. I feel comfortable here. It’s where I want to be. I want my blog to be a reflection of my authentic self, not a contrived vision that might be a platform if I were any good at creating a brand. (I am not a cow).

I could have renamed my blog “Hairy Legged Feminist” or “Buxom Wench”  – they are cool names and they are me. Not all of the time. All of the time, I am just Another Introverted Writer. This is me. (Trying to smile)